Most hot hatches ask you to choose between having fun and having a boot. The 2017 MINI Clubman John Cooper Works refuses the question entirely, and that refusal is the whole appeal.

John Cooper Works is not a trim badge you sprinkle on for looks. It is the fastest thing MINI will sell you with a wagon roofline, and the 2.0-litre turbo behind that red nose has a genuinely mean streak. The eight-speed Steptronic snaps through gears with the paddles, the ALL4 all-wheel-drive system puts it all down without drama, and the exhaust makes a noise that will have you inventing errands.

Then there are the barn doors. Two of them, split down the middle, opening onto a boot that swallows far more than a car this quick has any business carrying. It is the detail everyone comments on and the reason Clubman owners get oddly protective of them.

Inside, the sports seats hold you where a car with this much grip needs you held, the panoramic roof floods the cabin with light, and the head-up display keeps your eyes where they belong. Red stitching runs through the black leather as a quiet reminder of which MINI you bought.

The stereo is far better than the footprint suggests, the big central screen glows through its ring of light, and the driving modes let you switch between behaving yourself and absolutely not. It is a cabin built for someone who enjoys the act of driving rather than merely completing it.

Fifty-six thousand kilometres is barely broken in for one of these, and the 19-inch alloys still read as intent rather than nostalgia. For a Melbourne buyer who wants something rapid, rare and genuinely usable across the week, this is a difficult combination to find twice.

It seats five, hauls the weekly shop, and will still embarrass cars twice its price away from the lights. Choosing sensibly has rarely felt this irresponsible.

All prices displayed exclude government charges. While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the information provided, MM Carz recommends you confirm with one of our consultants to confirm specific specifications/features about the car. Please also note our vehicles may not always be on display, as they may be in for detailing—please contact us in advance to confirm availability before visiting our showroom.